This is a post that nearly never was. I always meant to just start blogging again, thinking, hoping that maybe you would just ignore my long absence from sweetrosie.
I can’t do it. You see, I realised that honesty and sharing is exactly what blogging is about. Well, it is for me anyway.
It’s been months since I posted, and still you wrote to me. The comments and kind words just kept coming. You sustained me and gave me hope during what has been a tumultuous, challenging time.
I was diagnosed with depression. It’s a stealthy, thieving illness that creeps around your life, robbing you of all that good and positive. Depression feeds on positive energy and like an emotional vampire it sucks you dry, all the while growing stronger.
I looked at other people in wonder. How did they manage to have such happy, complete lives? Actually, I didn’t just wonder, I envied and succumbed to self-pity and self-loathing.
It was only by reaching out and talking did I come to realise that what I projected onto others was an illusion of my own making. Most of us struggle, many people face unimaginable sorrow and distress every day.
Our lives are complex, with many facets hidden deep inside of ourselves. Depression, in its wily, seditious way, latches on to everything we struggle with, and uses it to grow stronger. Where once a struggle or challenge seemed just that, an opportunity to think, cope and grow, now, for me, became an overwhelming complication, and a mind-numbing obstacle to living.
I am moving forward now. When I broke my self-imposed silence, I found the help I needed to shrink this demon. If I can say just one thing to anyone suffering depression right now, it would be this, it’s not forever. Trust me, it isn’t. Please reach out.